Social media is a part of our everyday lives. Whether we connect with family and friends or only use it for professional purposes, these platforms are something we need to account for when working through a divorce. Parents need to be sure to use it wisely and are wise to proactively discuss when they are comfortable with their children beginning their own accounts. The following will provide guidance to help families work through this important issue during their divorce.
How parents can use social media wisely during divorce
Parents who wish to continue using social media while going through a divorce should do so in a way that is less likely to trigger disputes. The following tips can help:
- Treat every post as an exhibit. Assume that anyone can take a screenshot, gather metadata, and request copies of posts, updates, photos and pretty much anything you do online. Even “private” groups, disappearing stories and close friends lists can be obtained through subpoenas, device inspections and third-party production. Avoid content that suggests instability, alienation or rule breaking as this can be used to question your ability to serve as a good parent.
- Avoid co-parenting disputes online. Public criticism of the other parent can support claims of poor co-parenting, parental alienation or harassment. Indirect posts can still be identifiable. Keep communication on neutral channels, document issues through proper methods and raise concerns with counsel or a mediator.
- Protect confidential case information. Do not discuss negotiation positions, court dates, parenting evaluations or attorney communications. Many jurisdictions impose limits through protective orders, local rules or court directives. Violations can result in sanctions, fee awards or adverse findings.
Before you post, pause for 24 hours and consider whether it could present a hurdle in divorce negotiations.
How parents can address children using social media in a parenting plan
A parenting plan can reduce conflict by setting clear expectations that courts can enforce. The goal is to have a predictable and safe situation for the child. Consistent rules across households can help ease the stress for children. The same holds true when making decisions about social media use for your child. It is often possible to include a provision within the parenting plan that outlines access, time limits, supervision, and other particulars. Examples can include:
- Age-appropriate account rules, password sharing with parents or no-secret accounts
- Limits on posting the child, photos, school identifiers, medical information
- No disparagement rule, no use of the child to message the other parent
Parents can review guidelines for various platforms and mental health professionals to help determine the best age to begin social media use. One reputable source, the American Academy of Pediatrics, recommends waiting until at least the age of 13.
Ultimately, it is important for parents going through divorce to keep two things in mind. First, social media is not only personal expression – it is potential evidence. As such, it is wise to use restraint when posting on social media during divorce. Second, you can work together with the other parent to build clear social media rules into the parenting plan to help better ensure both parents are on the same page. With a strategic approach to the divorce you can handle these and other issues in a way that better ensures a smooth transition into life after divorce.
