A custody order established by parents or the courts should guide parents as they work to raise their children together. However, adjustments are sometimes necessary. A child might fall ill or have a special school trip that forces the parents to make a temporary adjustment to their custody arrangements.
When parents need to make minor, one-time changes to their custody arrangements, a verbal agreement to shift the pickup time or arrange for makeup parenting time is appropriate. If parents want to increase their time with their children or significantly alter the division of parenting time, they typically need to seek a formal custody modification in family court.
Agreeing through informal communications to modify custody arrangements can result in significant consequences for parents, including the following.
Increased risk of confusion and misunderstandings
When people talk face-to-face or over the phone about custody modifications, there is no clear written record to validate the arrangements discussed. Factors, including distractions and miscommunication, might lead to the parents having vastly different expectations for the scenario. What seems like an effective verbal agreement can potentially lead to conflict later because parents do not agree on the details due to miscommunication or confusion.
An inability to enforce the arrangements
After reaching an agreement that allows for more parenting time, one adult could find that their co-parent does not consistently abide by the new arrangement. In that scenario, they have limited options for recourse. People cannot enforce the terms set in a verbal modification or agreement. The only way to make custody arrangements enforceable in court is to officially modify the original order.
The possibility of malicious enforcement
A verbal agreement to shift the parenting schedule or alter the allocation of parenting time can be beneficial for one parent who sees their children less than the other. However, without a formal modification to the custody order, a parent granted more time with their children could be at risk of attempts to weaponize the family courts and legal system.
A parent who has negotiated and increased allocation of parenting time through direct interactions with a co-parent could be vulnerable if the other parent decides to involve law enforcement authorities. They could theoretically assert that a parental kidnapping occurred or could claim that they have not received the time that they deserve and could ask the courts for custody enforcement support.
Partnering with an attorney to pursue a formal custody modification can be beneficial for anyone hoping to change their parenting schedule and protect their parental rights. Verbal arrangements are easy to create and also easy to ignore. Official custody modifications are often necessary for those hoping to protect their bond with their children.
