Divorce is a difficult and emotional process for all involved, but for children, it can be especially confusing and unsettling. They may not fully understand what is happening or how their lives are about to change.
As your child’s parent, you can help them navigate this transition with as much stability, reassurance and love as possible. The following are five of the most effective ways that you can help to protect your children during your divorce.
1. Shield them from conflict
Children should never be placed in the middle of adult disagreements. Avoid arguing with your spouse in front of them, speaking negatively about the other parent or using your child to pass messages back and forth. Exposure to parental conflict can cause emotional distress, behavioral issues and long-term insecurity. Keep your conversations with your co-parent civil and private, and prioritize creating a peaceful environment for your child.
2. Maintain a sense of stability and routine
Divorce often inspires changes to a child’s living situation, schedule and even their school or community. Whenever possible, try to maintain consistent routines that provide a sense of security. Children feel more grounded when they know what to expect from day to day. Even if two homes are involved, coordinated parenting schedules, consistent rules and shared expectations can help reduce anxiety and foster a feeling of normalcy.
3. Encourage open communication
Children need to feel heard and supported. Create space for them to express their feelings without fear of judgment or guilt. Encourage them to ask questions and share their concerns, and respond with honesty that is appropriate for their age and maturity level. You don’t need to share every detail of the divorce, but being open and calm about the situation can help reduce their uncertainty and fear.
4. Prioritize co-parenting collaboration
Successful co-parenting generally requires mutual respect, communication and a shared commitment to your children’s well-being. Focus on what is best for your child, even if it means (when appropriate and healthy to do so) compromising on certain preferences or conveniences. When both parents are involved and supportive, children are generally more likely to adjust well and maintain strong relationships with each parent.
5. Seek professional support when needed
Divorce can stir up complex emotions for children that may be difficult for them to process on their own. Don’t hesitate to seek the help of a counselor, therapist or child psychologist who can offer tools and support tailored to your child’s needs. Likewise, working with an experienced family law attorney can help to ensure that your legal decisions—such as custody arrangements and parenting plans—are made with your child’s best interests in mind.
