Many divorces occur after a protracted cold war between spouses. Neither spouse wants to file for divorce, so they both wait for the other to make the first move in family court. For many people, concern about social stigma is what motivates them to wait for their spouse to file.
They don’t want other people to accuse them of giving up on the marriage prematurely. While those who belong to certain cultural groups and religions may still face a degree of stigma over divorce, divorce has become so common that most stigma no longer exists.
Instead of worrying about other people judging them, people in unhappy marriages may need to consider the practical implications of waiting for their spouse to file for divorce. Are there any legal benefits to being the first to file for divorce?
Responding spouses can be at a disadvantage
Even those who know that their marriages have been unhappy for quite some time often feel dismayed after getting served with divorce paperwork. The shock and disappointment they feel may prevent them from responding as quickly and effectively as they should. Some people simply do not respond and are then vulnerable to the courts granting all of the terms proposed by the filing spouse.
Other people do respond, but they may have a more difficult time obtaining favorable terms. The spouse who files chooses when to initiate the process and may even choose the jurisdiction by relocating shortly before they file. The responding spouse has to adhere to laws in the jurisdiction where their spouse files.
Those who take the initiative to file after considering divorce carefully can choose the timing and the location where they file. They also have an opportunity to gather important records before they file.
People preparing for divorce typically need in-depth financial records. If people don’t have an opportunity to collect that information before they file for divorce, they may be at risk of their spouse fighting them throughout the discovery process, hiding information from them or even altering records to manipulate the outcome.
Although no one wants to feel like the villain in a divorce scenario, taking action and filing for divorce first is not a malicious decision. Choosing to be the spouse who files for divorce may feel empowering. People considering divorce may need help evaluating their situation and help planning how they should file so that they are set up for the best outcome possible.
