No matter what the issues are in a marriage, it’s understandable that one or both spouses might not be certain whether these concerns are serious enough to warrant a divorce. Even a breach of trust like an affair isn’t a deal-breaker for everyone.
No one can tell you whether your reason(s) for considering divorce are “good enough” (short of abuse). It’s a highly individual choice – whether one spouse or both make a decision to move on. When that does happen, the following three reasons are among the most common that couples opt to go their separate ways.
Infidelity
When a spouse cheats, they undermine the trust at the core of their marriage. Psychologists have found that it’s not just the physical part of infidelity that ends many marriages but the emotional aspect of it. Jealousy, which can also tear apart a marriage, often goes hand-in-hand with infidelity. Whether that jealousy is founded (perhaps based on past infidelity or open flirting) or not, it can suffocate a marriage.
Financial disagreements
Money is often at the core of a ruptured marriage. When spouses have different attitudes about money, that’s a significant challenge to overcome. The most common issue is that one spouse is a spender and the other a saver. People often get their attitudes about money from their parents, and these can be hard to change or even modify to reach a middle ground with a spouse. It can also lead to trust issues if one spouse is hiding their spending or not sticking to a mutually agreed-upon budget.
Substance abuse
When a spouse has a drinking and/or drug abuse issue, it can lead to all kinds of problems that can make remaining married an untenable situation. The spouse and children of an addict or alcoholic often don’t know what to expect from one day to the next. It can be more challenging if the spouse with the substance abuse issue doesn’t recognize they have a problem or won’t commit to getting sober. For many spouses, the decision to end the marriage comes after months or years of living with an alcoholic or addict.
Of course, your reason for considering divorce may not fall into any of these categories. Basic incompatibility is commonly cited as well. People grow and change over the years, and they sometimes grow apart rather than together. Whether you’re seriously considering divorce or are ready to begin the process, it’s wise to get legal guidance as soon as possible, given the stakes of your circumstances.
