Divorce is rarely easy, but if you are divorcing a narcissist, it can be particularly challenging. Narcissistic individuals often exhibit manipulative, controlling behaviors, making the divorce process even more emotionally and mentally exhausting than it is otherwise likely to be.
Anticipating how a narcissistic soon-to-be ex might react, and preparing oneself for potential challenges, can help individuals protect their emotional well-being and future.
Anticipating manipulation and gaslighting
Narcissists thrive on manipulation and control, and during a divorce, they will likely intensify these behaviors to maintain power. Gaslighting, where they make their soon-to-be ex question their reality and self-worth, is a common tactic. The narcissistic spouse may:
- Twist known facts
- Make their soon-to-be ex feel guilty
- Try to manipulate the legal process in their favor
They might also present themselves as the victim or the “reasonable” party, painting their partner as irrational or unstable.
Expecting a battle over custody and finances
Most narcissists view divorce not as the end of a relationship but as a battlefield where they must win. They will likely incite custody battles and disputes over finances. This can be easy to pull off for a narcissist as they may not genuinely care about the well-being of their children or fairness in dividing assets. Instead, they may use these issues as a way to control and hurt their partner.
Not expecting empathy or cooperation
The sad reality is that narcissistic partners are unlikely to be cooperative or empathetic, even when it’s in their best interest. This is because most of them are unable to consider the emotional needs or perspectives of others, and they may refuse to compromise out of spite. As a result, individuals divorcing a narcissistic partner may need to prepare themselves for a long, drawn-out legal battle that relies on the court system to enforce decisions.
Taking care of one’s mental health
Divorcing a narcissist can be emotionally draining because they are skilled at creating:
- Confusion
- Guilt
- Self-doubt
During the divorce, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by their manipulation and diversion tactics. Therefore, individuals parting ways with a narcissistic partner should prioritize their mental health throughout the process.
Set and enforce boundaries
Boundaries are crucial when dealing with a narcissist because they are notorious for:
- Pushing limits
- Disregarding boundaries
- Continuing to harass or manipulate their former spouses even after the divorce is finalized
Clear, firm boundaries can help reduce their control over one’s life.
Divorcing a narcissist is no easy feat. It requires preparation, resilience and a deep understanding of their manipulative tendencies. By keeping these five things in mind and enlisting compassionate legal help, individuals have a better chance of facing the challenges ahead in such scenarios.
