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Why divorce court isn't a good place for revenge

For many people in Arizona who want to end their marriages, portrayals of divorce in television and movies can make the process seem even more intimidating. Many dramatic divorce stories focus on tales of revenge or righteous anger after infidelity, financial betrayal or other serious breaches of marital trust. However, for real-life couples going through divorce, the picture can be much less dramatic.

Divorce isn't an opportunity for revenge, but it is a chance to end a relationship that isn't working and move forward to a better life. Many experts advise steering clear of attempts to seek retribution in the courtroom for a number of reasons. One that is most frequently cited, especially for divorcing parents, is the effect that a courtroom battle can have on children. When a couple has children, they will remain tied together by a co-parenting relationship until adulthood. When kids feel forced to take sides or, more severely, are alienated from one parent by the other, this can have significant negative effects. Children going through their parents' divorce need support and stability, even when their parents can't stand each other's company.

In addition, studies show that the thrill of revenge is short-lived. While retribution can bring joy immediately after, it can also lead to obsessive focus on a former bad marriage rather than moving forward. In addition, a contentious, difficult divorce is actually a burden for both partners and can be an equal "punishment" for both. While it may seem unfair, most wrongful acts in a marriage, such as infidelity, generally have little to no effect on the core issues of a divorce.

People who are considering divorce may wish to speak with a family law attorney for counsel and representation. A divorce lawyer may work to protect a divorcing spouse's rights and advocate for them in asset division, child custody and other significant divorce matters.

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